Invisible Motherhood

Dear Fairy Godkids,
I know, its been a while. Forgive me. But there is something on my heart to share with you. Fairy Goddaughters, take this heart, particularly if you are called to marriage as your vocation. Fairy Godsons, when you are older, remember this if marriage is your vocation, because it will be your wife and she will need you to understand.

Motherhood is often invisible.

Invisibility isn't something our culture is comfortable with. It certainly is anathema to your

generation(s) and the insta-snap-swipe pace of daily life. Yet, it is a very important part of any vocation. Your vocation is not meant to be lived on social media, sometimes it is lived in the quiet, dark, and invisible places. Marriage is to be a sign to the world of God's love for mankind. That is why it is a sacrament. Sacraments are visible signs of an invisible reality. Your vocation, if it is to marriage will be lived IN the world and will, please God, be a sign of His love for humanity in the way you love each other. If you are blessed with children your vocation extends to the mission of parenting. This is where things get invisible.

Everyone loves the cute baby pictures, the matching "Mommy and Me' outfits on insta, the "look at me, I have it ALL together" posts on snapchat stories and facebook newsfeeds. But that isn't motherhood. That is a photo-op. A snapshot of what is probably not the big picture. The nitty-gritty of motherhood is invisible.

If you are called to have children you must be prepared to be invisible.

And just what, you ask, is this invisible motherhood?
It is the waking up every hour of the night to comfort a sick baby. It is the non-stop nursing when baby is teething. It is the cramming yourself into a toddler bed to comfort a child who had a nightmare. It is the not showering (again) because you just didn't have the time. It is the laundry and the laundry and the laundry and the laundry and then more laundry. It is the falling to your knees begging God to not let you screw up. It is the waking up before the sun to pack lunches and put clothes out to be worn. It is the late night in the ER to make sure everything is OK. It is the smiling when you're bone tired. It is the nod of approval you give after your child just explained something to you for the 50th time. It is the pretending you really, truly do care about the latest craze in kid games and culture. It is the crying after your child tells you "I hate you" for the first time (because they want to know if you'll still love them). It is the staying up all night worrying. It is the desperately wanting to go to sleep, but staying awake to talk to a preteen who is beginning to face the world and needs mom. It is the waiting up for your teen to come home, so when they need to talk about the big stuff they are doing, and the night they had, you're available and they know it. It's the working an extra job to pay for tuition. It's sitting through meetings and conferences that bore you to death and take away from your time (that you could be spending doing laundry). It's balancing time with your husband and time with your kids who need to talk to you (again). It's putting your foot down and saying no because that is your job. It is being unpopular and taking the brunt of your kids' emotions because its safe for them to be mad at you. It's setting boundaries for your kids when they can't set them for themselves. It is the sacrifices, daily, made without calling attention to them.

Motherhood is beautiful. But it is hard. And it is very thankless. And that is OK. Because motherhood and never was supposed to actually be about the mother. It is all about the child. The "other." Motherhood, the real stuff of motherhood, is invisible.
<3

Your Godmother loves you,

Fairy Godmother