'Tis the Season

So I was going to sit and write something profound.

Was.

Instead I'm sitting here desperately waiting for kids to go to sleep, trying to remember what the heck profound thing I was going to write about. #BecauseChristmas.

See, Christmas is that magical time of year when I lose brain cells. In fact I think my brain cells die every Advent and then are finally Resurrected on Easter. Its like....my brain has its own interpretation of the Liturgical Year.

Someday I am going to miss all this. The frantic pace of keeping up with extra choir rehearsals and violin practice. Remembering to send Christmas Cards .... oops. #fail.  Giving a card and some small gift to the kids' instructors. Crocheting gifts and trinkets until I give myself carpel tunnel. The sneaking, the hiding,  the all-nighters, the imaginative explanations for why Mommy is so tired, the midnight coffee so I can drive home from Walmart, the midnight coffee so I can stay awake to wrap just a few more.... the coffee. The coffee. Did I say coffee?

So here I am, listening to my kids talk across the hallway about what Santa might bring, eavesdropping to make sure Santa got it right, and mentally encouraging them to fall asleep so I can remove the last of the boxes from the truck and make sure Santa's helper named Amazon Prime got it right too.

And yet....

And yet, the most important moments will be the ones in silence. The ones with family. The ones helping others. When Santa has done his job and I step back to admire the tree and all the gifts underneath, knowing that in a few short hours (OK, last year it was AN hour) there will be happy children and total chaos. Its when I go outside around midnight and stand in the stillness, looking up at the sky, finding the brightest star (which actually tends to be Venus) and wondering what it was like when the sky filled up with Angels. Wondering what the Shepherds thought.  Its when I snuggle with my kids on the couch in our Christmas PJs and eat cookies and watch the movies Santa wisely brings. Its when my husband and I tuck in the kids, crack open the champagne, and toast a job well done, and a happy family. Its when we drop off the gifts for the giving tree. Its when we hand out granola bars and shelter info to the homeless man on the corner. Its hearing the kids sing their solos for a packed Church. Its paying for the stranger's meal just because. Its not sleeping for 3 nights straight and wondering how Mary and Joseph made it to Egypt after fleeing Bethlehem. Its realizing that Christmas, all of it, happens because HE LOVES US.

For me that is the biggest thing. He comes, despite us. He comes whether or not we are ready. He comes not because we have done something, but because He knows we need Him. He comes quietly and we might miss it if we don't stop for just a minute and take it all in.

I guess that is as profound as I can manage at the moment considering one of my dear children just came out to quiz me on Christmas. And Santa. And the North Pole. And Elves. ANd if Santa dresses like a Bishop on Christmas Eve. And if Santa got to hold the Baby Jesus. *sigh* I'm gonna miss this....

Merry Christmas,
Love,
Your Fairy Godmother